Young Moms

Every now and then you find 2 people who share a lot of interests and just align in their mission more than ever expected upon first chance encounter.  I met Ms. Danielle Ford in a women’s group that focused on personal growth.  I was instantly attracted to her vision “The Young Mom’s Club” and saw the potential. Having been a young mom, both my kids by age 22, I knew the complications, and frustrations.  Danielle makes weekly videos for Young Moms that are motivational and informational.  I recommend you pop over to Young Mom’s Club to learn more.

In the meantime, check out her interviewing me and see how both of us share our vision for Young Mom’s and letting teens and young people know Someone Cares right now!

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Under Pressure

Ok so if you can stop singing Queen and David Bowie for just a couple minutes I promise to put a link to that awesome song at the bottom!I wanted to write a blog about a reoccurring theme I see in the kids/teens I work with, that being PRESSURE! As the teen coach my job is to get to the bottom of this teen’s stress and 7/10 times it is parental pressure! I know you are already being defensive I can sense it.  I understand you parent’s have pressure too, I am a parent, I get it! The pressure on a parent in Vegas particularly is due to lack of things for teens to do, kids don’t play outdoors anymore, you get the idea that if you don’t keep them busy, the streets will find them! You are not wrong about that, there are statistics to sort of back that up.Here’s a scenario though, I wanna give an example of a pretend client.
Gorgeous Alice is 8 years old, she is growing up fast and she seems to do pretty well in school.  You start to notice she is hanging out with a girl more and suddenly her grades start to slip a bit and you take a stand and say something like “You need to do better in school, when I was young I got good grades and I expect that of you too!”  Alice heard “You suck, if you don’t get good grades you are stupid!”
Hey, I didn’t make the rules, I just happen to know them, and this is how kids hear things!
Alice begins to put pressure on herself just because it seems to make her parent(s) happy to get good grades.  As the grades continue maybe you suggest getting into Advanced classes and even running for class president oh and on the side you insist she plays baseball too so she learns the value of a team and earn a scholarship for college.  So now Alice is in 7th or 8th grade and she is constantly stressed, she has an attitude toward you, she is under constant pressure from school and sports for 2 seasons or more a  year.
Alice suddenly starts wearing dark clothes and begins hanging out with the “scary kids” or maybe Alice just starts a nasty little habit of cutting herself behind the scenes.  There are about 100 other very similar scary scenarios (i.e. drugs, alcohol, suicide, sexual experimenting.)

So, as you can see this all started with a few “well-intentioned” parenting style choices and comments.  Alice took it upon herself to constantly please you and eventually fell apart inside without you noticing until it was too late.  Are you wondering why I am blaming you? Well, I am and I’m not.  I want you to see the direct correlation between parental pressures and teen behaviors.

Now I wanna tell you why to stop and how to stop! Why should you stop? Because you LOVE your kid.  How do you stop? By loving your kid Unconditionally! 
Unconditional love shows the child that even though they screw up, you still love them.  Allowing kids to experience the NATURAL consequences of life choices allows them to correct their behaviors on their own. There is plenty of research to show this parenting style works and is effective in raising some pretty amazing leaders.

“Get your kid off aderol and put them on dad and momerol! “Suggestions: Start with this book Parenting with Love and Logic”  and start remembering you were oncethis young and watch this—-> WORDS PARENTS NEED TO HEAR NOW! 

And finally your link to Queen/Bowie Under Pressure

How Gratitude Will Change You

I wanted to share a lesson that embodies my blog: heart, wisdom, and action all in one. The topic being Gratitude. Many people have a generic idea of what gratitude is but do not understand it’s true harnessed power. The reason I chose gratitude to be my first blog is because it is the one thing you can begin today and see your happiness exponentially increase instantly change you.Gratitude is the act of being gracious or thankful. It is taking the time to recognize a person, an event, an act, a gesture, etc and to actually sit in that moment and say ….. So I do not make this blog all about me I will give you only a brief synopsis of how gratitude has benefited my life. 6 years ago I had a nickname, people called me Reggie Downer. I was blunt, honest, and negative. Even though I would show gratitude I often also would pay more attention to all the negative facts as well. “Yes that person gave me a free t-shirt, but don’t you know that’s just a marketing ploy!” Wow, talk about a different woman now. I don’t even recognize her. I wish for you all to not have to learn this the hard way like I did though. It took disease ravaging my body and the actualization that if I continued I would die early. That’s how gratitude will change you…just like it did for me. Research Shows Gratitude Heightens Quality of Life- Gratitude WILL CHANGE YOU! “The study split several hundred people into three different groups and all of the participants were asked to keep daily diaries. The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day without being told specifically to write about either good or bad things; the second group was told to record their unpleasant experiences; and the last group was instructed to make a daily list of things for which they were grateful. The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy.” McCullough/Emmons, et al Why make life harder than it has to be? So, I want you to decide your method of showing gratitude. There are many apps for your phone, good ole fashioned paper and pen(cil), and the art of conversation via phone. Pick one! I chose the app for convenience factor, but I also make sure to vocalize as well when it involves another human. This is your challenge: One time per day you will decide to write/type down one thing you are grateful for. It looks like this: Today I am grateful for: “Sharing a blog that could very well be someone’s change.” Do this for just 1-2 weeks and start to notice those little things that begin to happen. You begin to see the world a bit differently and amazing doors begin to open. For the “realists, negative, and sick” I challenge you to start the very same way I did. Mine looked like this Today I am grateful I woke up. Today I am grateful I can still walk. Today I am happy I didn’t say a curse word. Today I told my mom/dad/sister I love them. Sometimes, we have to literally start from scratch to retrain our brain so to speak. Please follow up with comments when this works and you begin to see the shift. As usual if you need more assistance or one on one help feel free to contact me via my website http://www.dreamthis.org